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THE POWER OF COACHING
Today, we talk about The Power of Coaching. If you’re looking to break your own cycle when it comes to becoming a great investor, I’d help coach you.
Let’s get to it
A conversation I had with my oldest daughter in the car after picking up my two oldest daughters – 10 and 7 – from their school.
“Hey, how’d you do on your math test today?”
My 10-year-old daughter “Not good… I got a 50%.” “What happened? We’ve been studying together all week?”
“I don’t know… I’m bad at math.”
This is an almost daily/weekly conversation between my oldest daughter and I.
I try to get done with work every day by 4:30 PM EST at the latest so I can help her with her math homework.
She’s a great student, gets A’s and B’s in all other classes, is hard-working, smart, loves to learn but she’s always struggled in math.
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The struggle was so bad that back when she was in 2nd grade, she was crying so much due to frustration while doing her math homework that we wrote a note to her teacher asking for help.
My wife and I didn’t know how else to help her.
My daughter was frustrated and crying and so were my wife and I seeing her go through that pain.
Luckily, she had a great teacher who then spent extra time helping her daily. To explain things better and more fully to her. To make sure she really understood stuff and to help her, without her getting frustrated.
She’s one of those kids where if she’s not immediately good at something, she thinks she’s bad and gets upset.
Even though we tell her all the time, it’s not that you’re bad at math. You need to stop getting so frustrated so easily and follow the steps.
She knows what she’s supposed to do but she wants to skip the steps and in math, you can’t do that.
We thought she mostly solved her massive block around math because for the rest of 2nd grade she did great and then in 3rd grade when learning multiplication, she also did well.
Then she got into 4th grade and began to struggle again with more advanced multiplication and division problems.
The daily crying and frustration soon began again.
But it’s not just this.
Tears streaming down her face, her fists banging on the table, she completely shuts down, and there’s enormous sadness in her eyes.
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It’s painful to watch as a parent on multiple levels.
She’s upset, we’re frustrated.
Progress is lost.
She reinforces this by saying she’s bad at math because she’s struggling and then the cycle repeats.
This is why I try to get off work every day at 4:30 PM at the latest to help her with her homework and explain stuff as well as I can to her.
I coach people every day but I’m not a 4th-grade math teacher so I’m out of my depth.
Earlier in the day before she told me she got 50% on her test, her school sent an email to all parents that they were offering free tutoring on all subjects 3 times a week.
After my daughter said she’d failed her test, and then for the millionth time said I’m bad at math and tears started to well in her eyes, I told her “baby, you might want to get some tutoring at school. They’re offering it again.”
“I DON’T WANT TO GET TUTORING.”
“You need to, Your teachers are professionals and can help you better without you getting frustrated and crying.”
“I’M JUST BAD AT MATH, I DON’T WANT TO GET HELP.”
“Nana – her nickname – there’s no shame in getting help… When I was in highschool
and struggled with Geometry and Algebra 2, I used to go get help every day at my
school.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and I still get help now. I’m a business mastermind where I get help every week. And I was in a business coaching program where I got help 3 times a week. Plus, you know I’m always reading and learning to get better.”
“But you’re the boss. You don’t need help.”
“Yes, I do. I don’t know everything. And I tell my team that all the time. I ask for their help all the time. I’m in the business coaching program and mastermind to get help so I can learn and improve faster to reach my goals. I make more progress now, doubled my companies revenue last year since joining these programs, and am way less frustrated than I used to be, working to do everything myself.”
“I coach people to help them learn how to invest better too… Not because they need it. But so, I can help them learn better and faster without getting frustrated. Because when I started learning investing by myself years ago, I used to get super frustrated all the time and ended up wasting 6 years because I had to learn everything by myself. And spent a lot of time learning the wrong stuff, and then having to relearn the good stuff.”
“I help coach you and your sister’s soccer teams to help you and the other kids learn, get better, and have fun. Plus, Lionel Messi still has a soccer coach to help him get better and he’s the best soccer player probably ever.”
“I guess.”
We still haven’t made a final decision on her getting tutoring but I think she’s at least open to the idea now.
We tell her constantly. There’s no shame in asking for or getting help. Getting teaching and coaching helps you improve faster, better, and without as much frustration.
I know this pain intimately.
I’ve struggled with this same thing most of my life. I’m still at 34 hate asking for help
unless I’m in dire straits.
But I’ve diligently worked to improve this over time. And, now ask for help a lot more than I used to.
She’s smarter than me but is about as stubborn as I am. So, hopefully, it won’t take her until she’s in her 30’s to learn the power of asking for and getting help as I did.
For now, it’s still a daily struggle when it comes to her and math.
Is today going to be a good day? or is it going to be a day with tears?
As soon as I ask if she has any homework, I can see her begin to get anxious just at the thought of having to do it.
We’re hoping she’ll accept help with this soon so we can break this cycle.
There’s no shame in getting help when you need it. Whether it’s with math or investing or any skill or task you’re doing or learning.
Especially with the huge number of great teachers and coaches out there online or in person.
We’ve talked about Power of Coaching. If you’re looking to break your own cycle when it comes to becoming a great investor, I’d love to help coach you.
To learn more click the link below.
P.S. And if you have any tips on helping to help your child with schoolwork. I’m open
to suggestions and would love to hear them in the comments below.